Postcards From: Detty December
Lagos babes run the world
The last time I was in Nigeria and Ghana was in 2022. I went for my cousin’s wedding, and my entire family, both in Nigeria and abroad, descended into town to celebrate. Our family house was always full of life, food, and laughs. I was also single, and if you know anything about Detty December, then you know that 75% of it is about going out, being seen, and getting chose by Nigerian ballers. If you’re a 6 in America, you’re a 12 in Nigeria and the men will act accordingly. Suffice to say, I had a good time and rarely pulled out my card. In Ghana, I went with a friend, and we planned our trip around Afrochella (now Afrofuture), a controversial festival but one that will always have my heart because I got to see Asake for the first time. Also, having the festival to go to for two days gave us an anchor activity that we planned all of our Ghana activities around.
This year, I went with a group of 5, but without Afrofuture as an anchor, we were there mostly to catch the vibes. The trip started off with a little wahala when it came to getting rides and service, but the girls and I hit fashion pop-ups, the famous Obi’s House, Shai Hills and the Volta river, and brought in the new year with a sermon and a song. We attended virtual church at 11pm and were in the club by 2am partying at Polo Beach Club until 9am. Now that’s what I call ✨balance✨
Lagos, Do You Know You Have 30 Minutes?
I was there for a month, which was just a liiiitle bit too long. I realized that without purpose (like a major music festival, a wedding, or a bunch of close family being around), I was planning my days on the fly. While this is usually my go-to way of traveling, in West Africa you can’t just be flitting about without purpose. You can’t just go out into the streets and be making your way downtown like Vanessa Carlton. In Accra, if you’re staying somewhere like Osu, maybe. But in Lagos? Ah. I remember one time I stopped walking near this man’s store in order to get my bearings for my next destination, and he came out and shooed me away because I was “blocking potential customers.”
Detty December has become so mainstream that I fear this past one will be one of it’s final glory years. Next year, we’re going to start seeing those videos from random people who went to Lagos solo with minimal research filming the dirt roads, the smog, and crafting “count how many times the lights go out” compilations.
I need Nigeria to understand that they only have 30 minutes. Accra has it generally figured out, as their economy is primarily driven by tourism. But Nigeria, please, abeg, you are missing out on big tourism dollars if you don’t figure out how to put small infrastructure in place. Specifically Lagos, just enough to capture and retain the people who plan to come and party next December after seeing how lit this year was. I know it’s been a whole century since that was a concept the government cared about, but with American and UK celebrities starting to fly out, and the diaspora spending millions of USD and pounds with local businesses, the least that can be done is create roadways, sidewalks, traffic lights, and public spaces that allow for the influx of tourism Nigeria is about to see.
You’re Not As Fashionable As You Think
Anyway, the biggest lessons I learned while away? One, never leave the house without a fan, and two, that cute little fashion game you thought you had, please. No one is shaking in their boots. The Lagos girlies are giving bombastic side eye. Go home and try again.
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When it comes to fashion, the ladies of Lagos are in a different category. It was so serious that after the third night of looking like a Bassica Biel, I decided that I just didn’t pack correctly and placed an emergency ASOS order that my friend had to pack in her already overstuffed luggage and bring from the US (Thanks Mo). I discovered and shopped a ton with African brands (some of my favorites are listed in my guide below), and as a former fashion editor, developed a true appreciation of the budding Lagos design scene.
The IJGB vs. Lagos Babe Debacle
IJGB? JJC? Madame Joyce? Batch C? High profile? What does it all mean?
Let me start by saying, Lagos babes are not girl’s girls. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. But much of the diaspora were shocked to find out that *gasp* the Lagos gals weren’t eager to be nice to them.
The creator,
, broke it down better than I ever could as a Johnny Just Come gal myself. And in her video she introduces this phrase that I’ve never heard before but will be using from now on: “The Tourism Gaze.” She describes the tourism gaze as what happens when tourists from western countries such as the U.S. or the U.K. go to places like Bali, Mexico, or Nigeria, and become the exotic foreigners. The locals can tell they’re not from there and may stare with piqued interest or approach them with curious amiability. It’s this gaze that the IJGB babes were expecting when entering the trenches of the Lagos nightclub scene. We’re “not from here” and therefore you should be nice to us and give us your attention. But when the currency is couch space in Emeka’s section at the club, a space that Lagos babes reserve year-round, new smiling faces from the new UK & US babes in town for just a week simply don’t move them.I remember one night I went out clubbing with one of my male friends and his homies. He’s a Lagos baller, so of course, he managed to quickly corral a few Lagos babes into the section. I said hello, and the ladies didn’t say a word back. Fine, back to me sipping this watered-down tequila pineapple.
We all went back to his apartment for some post-club gists. We were all in the living room chatting when my friend and one of the girls disappeared into the kitchen—the open layout kitchen right behind the living room, mind you. The girl’s friend and I sat in the living room motionless, as we made sure to stare straight ahead while he and the other girl started sloppily smacking lips. We knew what was about to happen. I decided that this was the perfect time to make my second attempt at friendship. Here we are, just two girls, trapped in this awkward AF situation with the infinite potential to become besties bonded in third-wheel trauma.
I turned to her, “Are they doing what I think they’re doing?”
*Silence & a blank stare*
I laugh with a little embarrassment and tried again, “This is so awkward, right?”
*Silence, she proceeds to pull out her phone and ignore me*
I’ve heard dozens of different theories on why Lagos girls are like this, but my friend (yes, the one in the kitchen about to fully fuck this girl in front of us) explained it the most plainly: in a city where men are the prize, they see you as competition. And now, after hearing all the discourse from this Detty December, I believe it. Generous and rich Nigerian men are the backbone of what makes Lagos culturally go ‘round. I can’t tell you how many of my friends entire experiences were marked by either how many men took care of them or didn’t. We went to Accra, and one of my friends started looking at flights to go home early because the Ghana men weren’t giving the same treatment she had just experienced in Nigeria.
In any case, now that we’re all back home, the Lagos babes can resume sitting pretty on their thrones; the rest of us can start saving to do it all over again next December.
These are just highlights of some of the places I checked out and would recommend. In no way is this list remotely exhaustive, but these are a handful of my absolute favorites! For more, you can always buy a custom itinerary from me or book a 1:1 chat for help with your trip.
For tours, I didn’t get to try any in Lagos, but I recommend Sorted Chale or Cy Cy’s Travels for your Ghana adventures. Tell them Anayo sent you!
Did you participate in Detty December shenanigans? What’s your take on the IJGB vs. Lagos babe debate? Are you going next year? Let’s chat in the comments!