Travel Propaganda I'm Not Falling For
Really just hot travel takes, but let’s go!
Check out at 11am
I need hotels to stand on business. When the clock strikes 11, I need them to be at the door ready to take me away. Because if not, I’ll see y’all when I see y’all. The number of times I’ve still been in the room while 11 came and went and…no one died. Not on purpose, I just be late. But how legit can that time be if, in just one 20-second phone call, you can change the checkout time to 1 or 2 pm? My record is 4pm, a personal best. We’ll see how long my luck lasts, but for now, I’m not falling for it.
Window seat elitism
I used to be a die-hard window seat warrior. Like phone pressed against the window during takeoff and controlling the amount of light that streams through the row type shit. But babyyy, as I’ve gotten older, ya girl gotta stretch her feet out and get a few bathroom breaks. I truly hate being the person who taps someone awake in the middle of an 11-hour flight to use the restroom. It’s also claustrophobic, especially when seated next to an unholy manspreader. Aisle seat me, please.
Miami for a girls’ trip
When the girls’ trip makes it out the group chat (yay!), but it’s to Miami (nooo), go ahead and remove me. A girls’ trip to Miami is good for nothing but coming back with either one less friend, a few less zeros in your account, and/or one new scammer boyfriend. Pick your poison.
Packing the itinerary to “make the most of the trip”
I have friends who transform into drill sergeants over an itinerary. We will get whipped if we don’t somehow make it from one end of the city to the other in the 30 minutes allotted in the schedule. I get it. We need to see, do, and eat all the things. But I’ve personally unsubscribed. While I love a well-planned, exciting trip schedule, I’m on PTO and you not about to burn me out like my boss. Normalize leaving space for rest and freedom to explore. Death won’t come knocking if we don’t hit all fifty-leven things on the spreadsheet.
Europe as the ultimate travel destination
After seeing a few European cities, they really do start to blur together. I say that as someone who has cities in both France and Greece in her top 10. I also say that as someone who used to live there, but I digress. My thing is, every year? Every.single.time you grab your passport, you’re going to Europe? Asia is right there! Africa is right there too! I love some good architecture, and a bustling, walkable promenade with stylish European people making smoking look cool again just like the next person, but let’s move on. They’re over us anyways—let’s give them a break from our insufferable selves.
Airline loyalty
Have you ever met someone who is a Delta Airlines loyalist? Good luck escaping that conversation. There is no other topic more interesting to them. They don’t know it, but deep down, they’re trapped. They can’t book the same flight time as you because it has to be on Delta. They pay more money because Delta might upgrade their seat from Basic Basic Main to Basic Main. Meanwhile, when that guy said, "These hoes ain’t loyal,” he was talking about me. Because I’m promiscuous, I can snatch the best ticket at the best price at the best time and still rake it up in credit card points if I choose.
Having to show up to a trip with everything did
It’s “ghetto” to travel in a bonnet
There is no greater feeling than stepping off the plane knowing your hair isn’t giving James Brown emerging from the depths of Hades.
One minute, you’re dozing off as the flight hits cruise control, and the next minute, you’re jarred awake as the plane hits the tarmac, and your perfect twist-out is flat as a wall in the back. Or the lace frontal a stylist just spent hours melting onto your forehead is starting to lift after stewing in fart air for hours. Listen, do yourself a favor and you’ll get to show up to your destination with your hair still flawless. WEAR. THE. BONNET.
You shouldn’t travel solo while in a relationship
There’s a certain type of person who believes that the prettiest places in the world should be reserved for baecations. And then they proceed to remain single and never get to see those pretty places. The same goes for those in relationships. Yes, traveling with your romantic partner is a beautiful shared experience, but that doesn’t mean all your travels have to be reserved for when you can both go. Sometimes you’re going to be able to go and they won’t; something will come up: work, kids, the dog. That shouldn’t stop you. You deserve to explore whether you’re partnered or not and with your partner or not.
"Travel is a luxury."
Travel is not a luxury, a privilege for sure, but not a luxury. There is an abundance of places to see, an array of cultures to experience, and an endless number of ways to make it happen. On one trip you might spend thousands of dollars to go to the Maldives and yacht across sparkly sapphire waters, while on another trip you’ll spend less than $100 to pussy pop in Vegas with your girls. It’s all relative. I’m grateful for how travel has changed me in so many blessed ways, but it’s not a luxury only a few can access. We all have the ability to see some world—whether you’re going to the other side of the city or the other side of the world. It all starts with you prioritizing travel, and creative ways to make it happen will start to appear. You don’t need thousands of dollars to go on a trip. You just need a little planning, the desire, and a readiness to just go.
Share the travel propaganda you’re not falling for in the comments!
I can’t believed I never thought of wearing a bonnet/headscarf until now. My flattened fro has been rubbed to death for too long