I Thought I Knew About Solo Travelling, Until I Watched Tracee Ellis Ross Do It

"As a culture, why are we afraid to just be?"

"I took my first solo trip when I was 24 or 25, and something clicked. I'm responsible for my own happiness." —Tracee Ellis Ross

It’s been a minute since I saw the trailer for a show and wanted to watch it immediately. But as a 30+ Black woman in America with a penchant for fashion, wanderlust, and self-actualization, I was SAT in anticipation for Solo Travelling with Tracee Ellis Ross, on Roku. I watched the series twice. First, when my two best friends pulled up to frolic with me in LA for a few days, we were yapping too much in between scenes to really catch what was going on. So, a week later on a flight back from Atlanta, I hopped on the in-flight WiFi and queued it up again. And this time, I let myself get carried away by Tracee’s extravagance, whimsy, and introspection.

The way Tracee travels made me confront the way I solo travel. Not for better or for worse, but in a 3-episode discovery where I realized there are many different ways to solo travel—even if there is just one you on the trip. As she traveled around to Mexico, Morocco, and Spain, I felt like we were seeing the real Tracee, and the intimate moments we were privy to in her travel journey felt sacred.

On Doing What Feels Good For You

Tracee is deeply in tune with herself. When she's sick, she rests, no matter how many days of the trip flow by. When offered a drink from a nearby table of travelers, knowing she's already had one glass, she declines, honoring where her current level of sobriety is at. When the vibes aren't right in her Marrakech room, she packs everything up and moves to the next room, even if it takes hours.

She radically honors what she feels on a soul level, no matter what. Watching her do this over and over in both subtle and loud ways made me think of my own way of traveling.

I've been invited to dine, hang, and party with people while out in the world—other solo travelers, groups who liked my vibe, couples, and men. And even though accepting these invitations would take me away from the plans I had, I’m open to the opportunity for connection (and a good plot twist, with discernment), so I usually accept if it makes sense. I don't think either approach is right or wrong; when I solo travel, I'm usually looking for those spontaneous moments of connection. For Tracee, her solo travels are geared towards "doing nothing,” as she put it—she wants to unplug, reset, eat good food, shop, and maybe swim in a pool or two.

And that's the beauty—it's all up to YOU. For me, rainy days like the ones Tracee experienced while she was in Mexico would have put a damper on my plans. But for Tracee, it meant more time to relax and sneak some work in.

While taking a sound bath in Mexico, Tracee asks, "As a culture, why are we afraid to just be?" I think it's a balance. For many of us regular folk, if we're spending money on a trip, we want to fully immerse ourselves. But there's so much freedom in not having anything planned, going with the flow, and being present in your body, especially when you're regularly stressed back home. It was a joy to watch her relish in her own company and be completely satisfied with the trip, despite not being able to do much. "The best part about solo travel is that you can change your plans last minute and no one gets upset," she says. Whether it’s me bailing on a lazy beach day to hop on the back of someone’s motorcycle, or Tracee getting dolled up to go out only to decide she’d rather just stay in after all.

On Packing & Prioritizing Joy

"You gotta have your pretty things!" She exclaims as she meticulously puts away her pair of Prada Modellerie pumps, or "Ave Maria" shoes, as she gleefully calls them.

When Tracee packs, she makes sure she accommodates joy, beauty, and disaster. Doing this makes her feel like she's her best self. But, ma’am, 8 suitcases for a 3-day trip?! As a proud member of the #CarryOnOnly club, the way Tracee packs is both beautifully chaotic and yet somehow extremely intentional. She packs weeks beforehand with three goals in mind: be prepared, be meticulously thoughtful about her needs, and pack her pretty clothes. She likes to have multiple options for every scenario that could possibly happen, like, you know, running into the love of your life or just not vibing with a certain fit anymore. She revels in bringing too much. And I revel in watching someone pack in a way that is the antithesis to my packing system.

While I used to overpack with the same thought in mind, I've saved myself the baggage fees by packing more strategically instead of packing everything I could possibly ever think of. I bring multiple tops that can all pair with 2-3 skirts and pants—that alone creates 20+ outfit options. I bring travel-size everything, and ain’t no way I’m bringing my entire haircare routine. But hey, the girl is rolling Rimowas down the runway, so baggage fees are the least of her worries.

On Exploring The World As Tracee, A Single Black Woman

"So much of what solo travelling is is not waiting for something to happen...in order to walk towards my life. In order to be in my life. In order to experience my life." —Tracee Ellis Ross

There were two clips from the show that kept spiraling up online: 1) The boldfaced lie that she only brought 2 pairs of underwear (ahem *points to 8 suitcases*) and washes them in the sink (like a normal ass person would on vacay), and 2) her pushing back on Oprah calling her the “poster child for being single.” Tracee doesn’t claim it—she wants to be known for living in her own skin. The benefits of not having children or relationships have allowed her to explore things of "her own humanity, like joy, exuberance, and grief," she says, but she is no poster child.

One of my favorite parts of the show was Tracee’s little moments of reflection on unlovability, on not being a mother, and on loneliness.

After a night out to dinner in Morocco, she comes back to her hotel and reflects on feeling lonely that evening—another common solo travel quirk. "I wonder if loneliness and sadness are the same thing," she muses. “They feel so similar in my body. Happiness and joy feel very distinct...happiness is slicker, bouncier. Joy is wider, deeper." She pauses as she reminisces on past relationships that didn't work out, and in a different reality, they might have been on the trip with her.

For Tracee, and for many Black women, being “alone” is a mark, a scarlet letter you invisibly wear until someone appears in your life to free you from it. But when you realize you’re “responsible for your own happiness,” and no relationship can fill up a cup that has sat empty while in your possession, it really doesn’t matter what your relationship status is. Happiness is something you have to create for yourself over and over throughout your time here on this Earth. In

Sylvia Obell

’s essay on the show, she writes, “We waste so much life thinking we have to have something—a partner, a title, a certain bank balance—before we can experience what makes us happy…But we’re worthy of joy and love that we didn’t have to work for.”

I've written extensively about how traveling made me realize I’m worthy of love. The duality of it all is that yes, it’s possible to be happily single and to want love & companionship. You can honor where you are currently and look forward to your relationship goals. But pausing your life while waiting for partnership will leave you on the sidelines living vicariously through others as time continues to pass on by.

Final Thoughts

While I ultimately loved the show, and I’m excited to hear that it was renewed for Season 2, the show felt more about Tracee Ellis Ross, who happens to be solo travelling. This may have been due to a few things, such as safety, timing, celebrity, weather, etc. Tracee didn't engage much with the cities she visited beyond the people at her hotels and at the restaurants. While she mentioned that she considered safety for Black women when choosing her destinations, she was traveling with a camera crew, and I’m assuming bodyguards and assistants, and not to mention wealth that gives her access to the most exclusive experiences. She can’t quite accurately show what it’s like for a regular Black woman to travel solo, but it didn’t make it any less enjoyable to watch. This is how Tracee travels, and it was a pleasure to experience. I hope in the second season we’ll see more of her exploring the cities and getting into local culture.

Favorite moments:

• Ordering room service French fries while taking down her box braids was peak Black girl.

• Dancing for like 10 minutes while eating bread and olive oil in Spain while the shop owner just stood there randomly.

• Her casually calling her mom when she's sick when she knows damn well that her mom is THE DIANA ROSS! It's so endearing to see her still find comfort in calling her mom to check on her.

• She constantly dropped things at restaurants and as a fellow klutz, I felt seen lol

• Her personalized pillows in Mexico had her initials embroidered with the beautiful sayings “amate a ti mismo primero,” love yourself first, and “viaja lejos encuentrate,” travel far and find yourself.

• When she said it can't just be Joan of Arc and cat ladies, there has to be an in-between, my soul smiled. That's my whole Carefree mission!

Did you watch the show? Are you excited for season 2? Are you a chronic overpacker like Tracee? Let’s chat in the comments!